Monthly Archives: December 2011

Seasons Greetings !!

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Seasons Greetings!

This year is very very special because I have a little someone who is already in the seasons mood…

How wonderfully is to feel that there now we are a little family of two and that in a few months we will finally be together.

Life has taken a whole new meaning not just for me but for everybody that has been so present and so involved with every little step of this journey.

Blessings come in lots of shapes , but for sure the blessing I am receiving this year is the most amazing and beautiful one can receive.

All I can say is thank you to every one that is making this possible and a big thank you to my little angel… thank you for existing and already adding so much to our lives.

Merry christmas to everyone , I wish you all receive lots of peace , health and love , tons of love.

A 1.33 cm Miracle!!

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Hi everyone!!!

Here is a pick of the little angel…. growing fast:

We are 7 weeks and 4 days far… time is flying!!!

I can’t wait for week 12 to arrive . I was reading some information about miscarriages ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Miscarriage ) and according to doctors when week 12 arrives , the risk of miscarriage decreases significantly.

Every night when i go to bed I think and wish that the little angel holds on tight.

Every week I get in touch with the people at the clinic because I want to know how my surrogate is doing , how is the pregnancy affecting her and how is the general situation. thankfully Neha is always available to give me updates and thankfully everything is going on just fine.

I was talking to a very interesting woman yesterday ( http://michelleoquendo.com/ ) and we were talking about surrogacy and parenting. She made me realize something that I havent talked about and that is the fact that on this journey there are 3 souls involved: the little angel , my surrogate and me.

Everybody knows how I feel because I try my best to let you know with all the info that I provide with this blog . The little angel for sure is happy floating in and endless , warm , comfy and dark pool of liquid. The last one is my surrogate, how is his affecting her? How is she feeling about having to give the child that she is carrying in a few months?

I was researching a bit and there are no registered studies performed in order to study what is the impact that gestational surrogacy has on the surrogate mothers. Probably a big issue around this topic is the fact that surrogacy is not unplanned , by this I mean that when someone decides to have a child trough surrogacy , he/she has to plan everything in order to guarantee that the conception and pregnancy is achieved.

When one chooses a surrogate mother ( I had the great help and advice of Dr. Shivani) , one has to understand that this wonderful women that choose to carry a baby for nine months , have already thought about all the sensitive and delicate points that surrogacy involves. There is a mechanical way of looking at it and that is that this women are prepared to have a successful pregnancy in order to deliver a healthy baby for his/hers parents.

There are lots of interviews that have been done to surrogate mothers in order to discover how do they manage to not get attached to the growing baby, but every human being feels in a different way  . One thing is clear and that is that surrogacy for sure is a very extenuating process for the surrogate mother, not only physically but emotionally.

As for me ( and my little angel), the only thing I am sure off is that the clinic takes great care of their surrogate mothers and they try to make this process easier on them.

Michelle asked me if I have an emotional bond with my surrogate , my answer was that I believe I have a very special bond with her not only because I feel extremely grateful , but also because she is and always will be the woman who will make it possible for me to actually hold my baby in my arms.

This journey is a triangle that needs its 3 points to stay together, at least this is how I see it.

Thank you very much for reading , have a wonderful day and I will like to take the opportunity to propose a discussion forum on this issue… what do you think about it?

Looking forward to your comments.

 

Itsy Bitsy Tiny Human Being…

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Hi everyone!!!

Las time I posted I was waiting for the first scan of my baby , so here it is:

Isn´t it amazing ? , There is a heart beat …there is a life growing.

Is very hard to explain what I feel right now, is a mixture of feelings of happiness, expectation , anxiety, worry ….

Neha ( she works at the SCI Clinic) is the one that sends me all the information regarding the baby, she said that everything id going ok and that in 2 weeks we will have a new scan.

At this point the baby is 5 weeks and 5 days old!! Cant believe he/she is only over 1 millimeter long but lots of things are happening in its tiny body.

Have you heard people saying that babies have a special bond with their mothers? I think so too , but for some reason since I know I am pregnant I feel a very special bond and feeling that is developing a strong maternal instinct in me. One might think that this happens because I am a lot in touch with my feminine side , but is it possible?

Can a man experience this kind of bond with his child? I am starting to belive so, it might now be as stong because of th physical bond but it is a very special one.

Either way I just decided I want to feel every little thing that this journey brings, I wont deny sometimes is a bit overwhelming because people around us can provide a lot of support but at the same time they can add a lot of anxiety.

I find that reading about the baby´s development and the changes that the surrogate mother is experiencing is quite comforting. Is a way of staying in touch with the whole process while my baby is 15500 kilometers away growing and growing every day.

What do expecting mothers feel??? can you share with me?

Anyhow , I wish all the intending parents feel relieved after reading the posts. My goal is not to inspire anybody but to let you know in my own personal way that parenting regardless your lifestyle and marital status  IS POSSIBLE , you just have to look for the right way for you to achieve it.  Never loose hope.

Thanx for reading and keeping up with the little angel , have a wonderful day.

You are here!!!

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Picture this …

On August 31, we were hanging around in our stateroom ( we all took a cruise to Greece , Italy , Turkey and Spain)watching a movie, sailing from Mykonos to Santorini when my mobile made a sound.

I look at it waiting for a spam or something from work and what I received was:

Dear Enzo,

 
Congratulations..!!!!

We would like to inform you that We have done Beta HCG test for (name of surrogate mother).

Kindly find the enclosed report for the same.

We are very happy to inform you that (name of surrogate mother) Beta HCG value is 414.21. which is very good.

Kindly note that we will do (name of surrogate mother) USG scan within a week to check the pregnancy sacs.

Once her scan will be done, we will get back to you at the earliest.

We will keep you updated with her progress.

 

What????????

It took me a while to realize what was going on , I was not expecting news so fast!

My heart started beating like crazy and my eyes suddenly teared up… it was official I was to become a daddy!

I told Mom and my Sister and they were just thrilled….. we can’t believe it!!!!!

I feel totally blessed.

Now , we have to wait for 1 week for the sac scan and hopefully a heart beat, Is too soon to be exited but , how can i help it?

I decided to not tell anyone about the pregnancy until we reach week twelve, for some reason I think is going to be hard to keep it a secret.

Angel , now you are here! Hold on daddy is waiting for you… you already have all the love in the world.

Done … now the waiting begins.

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Now that all the Legal Documents are ready and I gave my second sample , we will just have to wait for the egg collection.

I just realized that I havent actually explained how the surrogacy works so I will try to do it as simple as I can in few steps:

1. Look for a clinic that will do the treatment.

2. Look for an egg donor ( there are clinics that have their own donor collections. The clinic sends a catalog from where you can choose an egg donor based on medical history and a picture of the donor with her basic information. The donor is completely anonymous)

3. In the case of male intending parents , you have to send the result of some test that the clinic asks ( sperm count , blood tests . etc)

4. The clinic analyses the samples and gives you a feedback about the results.

5. You pay the initial fees to the clinic.

6. You plan the dates for the egg collection.

7. You plan your trip.

8. After you arrive the semen samples are retrieved and the legal documents are signed.

9. I f you want you get to meet your surrogate ( she was chosen by you and with the help of Dr. Shivani. In order for the embryos to hold , the surrogate has to be in the right moment of the cycle).

10. Egg collection is performed ( donor).

11. Fertilization is performed .

12. you have to decide wether you want to freeze semen sample s, eggs or embryos for further attempt.

13. Embryos are transferred tt he surrogate mother.

14. Hopefully 14 days after you will receive an email telling you are pregnant!!!!

So , I completed the 13 steps and now the waiting time begins.

In my case , we accomplished 19 fertilized eggs.

Dr. Shivani and her team selects the strongest and the ones with best qualities and they transfer them to the surrogate.

I know for some people it might sound a bit methodic or cold , but there is apart in all this that one has to consider. Along the way , the love and desire to become a parent is so strong that overshadows the scientific part of it.

Nature made us men , we are unable to carry a child, but nature also gave us a heart and a brain in order to figure the way to become parents.

Now I see it as a way of evolving , a way of adapting to what life has to offer.

It was very hard to leave India since all the people I meet were so nice. The hardest part is to leave knowing that maybe my little angel is already growing in my surrogates womb, a totally different feeling than the one I had when I first arrived. It seems like a pice of my heart was left in Delhi.

The anxiety has changed , millions of thoughts go trough my head.

Now I am off to europe for vacations with Mom , my Sister , my Niece and Nephew. Lets hope for the best!!!

Anxiety overcomed by the secrets of Delhi…

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Woke up really early because I wanted to get as much done as I could.

I wrote down every single place that Chapal recommended so I have a busy day.

I work out with this weird feeling in my gut , I guess is anxiety of reading the legal contract and waiting to have my surrogates and her husband’s signature on it. Hope everything works out ok!!!

Went to Cafe Coffee Day (Chapal I know you hate me for liking it , but french press coffee with spicy chicken sandwich , tastes like a piece of heaven), had breakfast and took a tuk tuk tot he Lodhi Gardens. I know most of the places I will tell you about are not on the usual lonely planet or trip advisor guide , but they are TOTALLY worth it!

As soon as I got there my jaw dropped , is probably one of my favorite sites in Delhi. The gardens are amazing , there was people jogging and there are several monuments all over the place. It is a very quiet , nature oriented place int he middle of Delhi…amayzing!!! I stayed there for like 3 hours , walking around each corner , breathing fresh air, enjoying the sun and exploring the great persian tombs and buildings. The best combination. Being alone with so much peace around me made me think a lot about the uniqueness of that moment. thousands of kilometers away from home , waiting to make the biggest change in my life. I never feel alone on this…. why is that?

After I was done at the Gardens , took another tuk tuk to Hauz Khas Village. The place is very pretty , a small village that has lots of little stores were you can find very nice handcrafts ( try the place where they sell hand painted clothes…is great). if you walk down the street yo will reach the ruins of the village. They are great , and the view from the high balconies is ver interesting because there is a river on the back. There were lots of students just hanging around and for me it was interesting to see how this old buildings perfectly blend in with he new architecture and art galleries around it. A place you can’t miss!

I was getting a bit anxious about receiving the legal documents so i walked to the Kunzum Travel Cafe , a very interesting place where you can find great photographs of India and other places around the world. I just sat there , had a coffee with cookies and started reading the legal documents. If you have a chance , take a look at this places , is very neat: http://kunzum.com/travelcafe/ . In this place you pay whatever you want to pay , there are no fixed prices for coffee.

It took me more than 1 hour to read every single word of it , and by the end I was ready to sign 🙂

Anxiety disappeared so I took another tuk tuk in order to go to Select Citywalk that is a very nice mall with good stores. Chapal recommended the restaurant Mamagoto ( http://www.zomato.com/ncr/restaurants/south-delhi/saket/mamagoto-947). I had a great lunch , please try the Gin and Tonics there , they are very good ( they have a lemongrass and sweet bergamot orange peel yumm yumm).

After my belly was full and my heart was happy , I went shopping for some things. I had some free time so I stopped at a hair salon where i received probably the best manicure and pedicure of my life!!!! I had 3 guys working on me at the same time so I basically felt like a star hahahaha. It was very good, apparently I needed some pampering. I felt totally spoiled but guilt free.

Took a tuk tuk back to the hotel because at 5 I had my appointment with he lawyer at the SCI CLinic. A bit nervous…. why is it that Lawyers make me feel a bit uneasy?

Got to the clinic and saw Arpana and Shilpi , as friendly and nice as usual. My lawyer is Inderbir Singh , he struck me as the serious type but i got the best surprise ever after we started talking. I started going over the legal documents again , and as usual asking him as many questions as I could. I don’t know wich part lead us to start talking about parenting, but we went on and on about our personal experiences .

How nice to talk about such intimate things with a person that I just met 10 minutes ago. Inder is a follower of the Sikhism ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sik) so it was very interesting to know about his beliefs and basics of the Sikh religion. I really have to thank Inder because after our chat I felt very good about being a single parent. I wish you the best of luck in every step you take in your journey Inder. You are a great father, is easy to tell because when you talk about your son , you face just lights up.

The day is coming to and end , but for sure everything worked out great. The legal documents are ready and tomorrow I have to come back for my second and last sample.

We are almost there my little one… I feel you are so close. Just wait and see my little angel sooner than later we will be together .

Thank you for reading! Enjoy your day , smile until it hurts.

A blog to watch and admire…

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The other day I was reading other wordpress bloggers , and stumbled upon this one:

http://matthewphelps.wordpress.com/2011/12/01/on-marines-equality-and-my-date-to-the-marine-corps-birthday-ball-part-1/

Please take the time to read its 4 parts , is worth every second.

I will like to take the chance to Congratulate Matthew Phelps not just for writing such a great blog , but also for having what it takes in order to make great changes.

This is not something that everybody does , as for me I feel very inspired and full of strength and peace to start something new.

Thanx again , I hope that you enjoy the blog , but what I truly hope is that by it more people will come to understand equality and respect as the basis for any social bond.