Hello everybody!
I woke up earlier than usual , not just because Vodka ( my dog) was twitching and making weird sounds while having a nightmare ( here is a pic: ), but also because I was thinking about adaptation.
Since the moment we come out of the womb , the process begins. We start to adapt to every little situation around us in order not just to survive but also to become the being that we want to become.
As kids there is no awareness about this because usually we are mainly raised by an adult that already has lots of conditioning factors that they have been dragging since their own process of adapting began.
It seems to me that in order to reach happiness or at least experience happy moments more often , one has to get on the train of adaptation , fasten the seatbelt and enjoy the trip.
This brings me to the issue that men can not have kids by their own , so we adapt in order to achieve that by connecting 3 strangers into one ( at leats for me as a single father). Is this a very easy way of explaining surrogacy?
It might be the answer to lots of questions based on this very delicate topic ( and also a very useful answer when sometimes we get uncomfortable questions).
What happens after surrogacy? How do you explain your kid? , I know time will give me the answers to this questions, at least for now I know that the triangle between the donor , the surrogate and me is probably the best thing that has ever happened in my life.
It would be great if the parents out there that have already been trough this process could share with the rest of us their own experiences.
Thanx in advance for reading and remember : ” Adapt or die. As many times as we’ve heard it, the lesson doesn’t get easier. The problem is we’re human. We want more than just to survive. We want love. We want success. We want to be the best that we can be. So, we fight like hell to get those things. Anything else feels like death.”
I love your posts always so thought provoking and well written, thats why I nominated you for a Liebster award. I often have the same thoughts as you and I’m hoping from telling a child from the start in age appropriate ways this will help with adapting….
Dear Bec , I know your wishes will soon come true, or else what would you do with all the love you have inside? You seem to be a very warm person , thats not easy to find . Thanx for using your warmness to comment and write. Smile!!!
I’m not sure how to explain surrogacy to kids. It’ll be hard. But from what I have been told it’s best to tell them the truth from the beginning in a way that can be understood by them. Their brains will process it on the level that they can. If it’s kept a secret and they learn of it later (like adopted kids do sometimes) their identity is shattered. So always be honest.
I also think that nowadays with so many kids being born into single parent households, adopted kids, sperm donor kids, egg donor kids, surrogate kids, step-kids and more that kids are much more accepting of “non-traditional” families. I know some of my friends have explained my surrogacy process to their kids and a lot of the kids just accept it as no big deal, sometimes process it and ask a question or two, and then move on.
Dear Michael , thank you very much for your comment. I believe in what you say ,being honest and true to oens reality for sure is the way to go. Finding the rigth words and the timing migth help. Great to hear from you and also very nice to listen from soemone that has been already down this road. Thanx for being open to lettitng other people learn form your experience. HAve a gret one!!!!!!!! xoxo
We absolutely love your blog and find a lot of your post’s
to be what precisely I’m looking for. Do you offer guest writers to write content to suit your needs?
I wouldn’t mind publishing a post or elaborating on a lot
of the subjects you write regarding here. Again, awesome
blog!
Dear Vince. Thank you for your comment. I would love to have you write in my blog. Just send me the info and I will post it for you. Its been a while since I last wrote, but I will start writting again soon.
Thanx again. Glad you enjoy a bit of my experience. Parenthood is the best.