Category Archives: Surrogacy

The last part…

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Hi everyone!

Definitely I have been totally lazy with the blogging lately.

For some reason it seems like from week 16 everything started going by so fast! We are almost in week 31 and now I have to get ready for the last section of this part of the journey.

There are several things that as a single parent I have to consider now like the travelling , legal procedures , what to bring with me , what things to consider once the baby is born …. and lots of other things.

Luckily Mom is travelling with me so for sure I will learn from a Professional ūüôā

As I once said , I consider that all of us that have, are and will go trough surrogacy in India , are a small community  that share a great common factor: we all want to be parents.

This is the main reason why I reach out to you for advice and help regarding this las stage of the pregnancy, all the information I can get for sure is going to be welcomed and useful.

I woke up thinking today, that is incredible how the instinct and feelings of a parent can overshadow the little important things that having a baby involves.

Lately I surprise myself thinking a lot about: What if¬†this…? what if that…?…. but the main answer I always get is: what if you never¬†felt and decided to be a dad? then¬†everything becomes clear¬†by remembering my start point.

 As usual , thank you in advance for all your help.

Cant¬†believe I am so close to hold my angel in my arms… it seems that our first¬†moment will be a never-ending story of love.

Have a great day!

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Adaptation.

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Hello everybody!

I woke up earlier than usual , not just because Vodka ( my dog) was twitching and making weird sounds while having a nightmare ( here is a pic:  ), but also because I was thinking about adaptation.

Since the moment we come out of the womb , the process begins. We start to adapt to every little situation around us in order not just to survive but also to become the being that we want to become.

As kids there is no awareness about this because usually we are mainly raised by an adult that already has lots of conditioning factors that they have been dragging since their own process of adapting began.

It seems to me that in order to reach happiness or at least experience happy moments more often , one has to get on the train of adaptation , fasten the seatbelt and enjoy the trip.

This brings me to the issue that men can not have kids by their own , so we adapt in order to achieve that by connecting 3 strangers into one ( at leats for me as a single father). Is this a very easy way of explaining surrogacy?

 It might be the answer to lots of questions based on this very delicate topic ( and also a very useful answer when sometimes we get uncomfortable questions).

What happens after surrogacy? How do you explain your kid? , I know  time will give me the answers to this questions, at least for now I know that the triangle between the donor , the surrogate and me is probably the best thing that has ever happened in my life.

It would be great if the parents out there that have already been trough this process could share with the rest of us their own experiences.

Thanx in advance for reading¬†and remember : ” Adapt or die. As many times as we’ve heard it, the lesson doesn’t get easier. The problem is we’re human. We want more than just to survive. We want love. We want success. We want to be the best that we can be. So, we fight like hell to get those things. Anything else feels like death.”

Happy Lohri Day…

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Today is Lohri Day in India!

Here is a little something about Lohri ( source : http://www.surfindia.com/festivals/lohri.html):

Introduction
Lohri Festival Lohri is an auspicious Occasions that is celebrated as the harvest festival of Punjab- a North Indian state also called the breadbasket state of India. Lohri is celebrated with great joy and fervor specially among the farmers fraternity as this festival is associated with the harvesting of the Rabi (winter) crops. The festival of Lohri is an Occasions that urges people to extend their thankfulness and prayers to the God for being so kind and bringing prosperity for all. Lohri is celebrated by Sikhs & Hindus alike, in the North Indian states of Punjab, Haryana, Delhi and parts of Himachal Pradesh.

As a harvest festival, Lohri is marked during the month of January in which the farm fields portray the shining crop of wheat- the main winter crop in North India. Lohri is enjoyed between the harvesting and sowing of this winter crop, with lots of joy by family, friends, singing, dancing on folk songs around the bonfire in the evening. The festival of Lohri is considered an auspicious Occasions for celebrating the birth of babies and the arrival of newly wed bride to the family.

When is Lohri
Lohri, as per the Hindu Calendar, falls in the month of Pausha or Magha generally on 13th January, a day before Makar Sankranti. After the day of Lohri the earth starts its journey towards the Sun thus calling the end of winter season and onset of summer season.

Origin of Lohri
According to the historical and mythological references the term its origin from ‘Loi’ the wife of Saint Kabir. Although in Punjab Lohri is known as Lohi while other believe that the festival has got its name from the term ‘Loh’ that means iron. The celebrations Lohri festival has eating of til (sesame seeds) and rorhi (jaggery), therefore it is believed that made the term ‘Tilorhi’ that suppressed in the Lohri.

The tale of Dulla Bhatti is the most recognized origin of Lohri. Dullha Bhatti is an icon figure of Punjabis and is associated with the celebrations of Lohri- the harvest festival of India. Dulha Bhatti was a muslim highway robber who used to rob people and would save the Hindu girls being taken for selling the slaves market. Then he used to arrange the marriage of those rescued girls with Hindu boys with all rituals and even arranging the dowry of money and material. Due to these social services, Dulla Bhatti became a legendary figure among the Punjabis. On the eve of Lohri festival the folk songs praising the heroic character of Dulha Bhatti are sung.

Celebrations of Lohri
Lohri is celebrated in various parts of India but in different ways- Pongal in Tamil Nadu, Bihu in Assam, Bhogi in Andhra Pradesh and the Sankranti in Karnataka, Bihar and Uttar Pradesh. The main attraction of Lohri festival is the traditional bonfire celebration. In the evening all family members light the up the bonfire and dance on the Lohri folk songs with great enthusiasm. A puja is also held with a prayer to Agni, involving parikrama around the fire for abundant crops and prosperity. Also makki ki roti and sarson ka saag composes the dinner and til, gazak, gur, moongphali, phuliya comprises the prasad. On Lohri, womenfolk and children get attention. For a bride, the first Lohri is extremely important. Children sing and dance asking for the Lohri prasad.

Lohri Songs- Dulla Bhatti Song
The ‘ho’s are in chorus
Sunder mundriye ho!
Tera kaun vicaharaa ho!
Dullah bhatti walla ho!
Dullhe di dhee vyayae ho!
Ser shakkar payee ho!
Kudi da laal pathaka ho!
Kudi da saalu paatta ho!
Salu kaun samete!
Chache choori kutti! zamidara lutti!
Zamindaar sudhaye!
bade bhole aaye!
Ek bhola reh gaya!
Sipahee pakad ke lai gaya!
Sipahee ne mari eet!
Sanoo de de lohri te teri jeeve jodi! (Cry or howl!)
Paheenve ro te phannve pit!

Translation
The ‘ho’s are in chorus
Who do you have
The groom with the tandoor
The groom’s daughter got married
He gave 1 kg sugar!
The girl is wearing a red suit!
But her shawl is torn!
Who will stitch her shawl?!
The uncle made choori!
The landlords ate it!
He made the landlords eat a lot!
Lots of innocent guys came
One innocent boy got left behind
The police arrested him!
The policeman hit him with a brick!
Cry or howl!
Give us lohri ..long live your couple!
Whether you cry, or bang your head later!

Significance of Lohri Festival
For Punjabis, Lohri is more than just a festival, and also an example of a way of life. The essence of Lohri is celebration of fertility and the spark of life. An extremely auspicious day, Lohri marks the sun’s entry in to the ‘Makar Rashi’ (northern hemisphere). The period, beginning from 14 January lasting till 14 July, is known as Uttarayan. It is also the last day of the month of Maargazhi, the ninth month of the lunar calendar.

Grow baby grow!!!

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Hi everyone!

I woke up this morning and received this great surprise in my inbox:

You are growing so fast my little baby!!!!

It is amazing to think that both of you are more than 15500 kilometers away , but thankfully the staff from the clinic is taking well care of my lovely Surrogate and the baby.

Now that the delivery date is approaching more and more ( only 16 weeks left) , the feelings towards this process have changed a bit. Now everything seems so real so intense . At the beginning everything started as being a very strong deep feeling but now is a reality that will materialize sooner than later.

As I have said many times , this rollercoaster of emotions is worth every second , the expectation , the feelings , the wondering and of course the great surprises.

The other day a friend asked me if I am afraid of the way my life is changing and scared of all the things that are about to come. I didn’t took me¬† long time to answer because I don’t feel afraid. I feel anxious and I do have lots of questions in my head , but all those will continue to answer by themselves as time goes by.

My advice to anyone out there that shares the same dream with me is that there is no obstacle that will overcome the strength of persistence. Even though you can be a bit scared sometimes¬†, don’t¬†be, ¬†because fear only deprives you from living. We only have once chance in this world ( at least in the actual¬†shape), so don’t¬†waste the opportunity .

I found this little poem ( unknown author) that truly describes how I feel. I dedicate this to my little angel grow baby grow!!! :

 

I Loved You From The Start

I loved you from the very start…You stole my breath, embraced my heart.Our life together has just begun,

You’re part of me, my little one.

As your father , each day I knew

My mind would be filled with thoughts of you.

I’m daydreaming of the things we’ll share,

Like late-night bottles and teddy bears.

Like first steps and skinned knees,

Like bedtime stories and ABC’s.

I’m thinking of things you’ll want to know,

Like how birds fly and flowers grow.

I’ve thought of lessons I’ll need to share,

Like standing tall and playing fair.

When I first see your precious face,I’ll pray your life be touched with grace.I’ll thank the angels from above,

And promise you unending love.

Each night I’ll lay you down to sleep,I’ll gently kiss your head and cheek.I’ll count your little fingers and toes,

I’ll memorize your eyes and nose.

I will linger at your nursery door,Awed each day that I love you more.Through misty eyes, I’ll dim the light,

And whisper, ‚ÄúI love you‚ÄĚ every night.

As your father our journey’s begun,My heart’s yours forever, little one.
I loved you from the very start…You stole my breath, embraced my heart.

 

Entrevista 10-enero-2012 / Interview 10-january-2012

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Hola a todos!

Muchas gracias por todos los comentarios y correos que he recibido , la verdad es grandioso saber que mi angelito y yo contamos con gente tan hermosa como todos ustedes.

El d√≠a¬†de ayer¬†se public√≥¬†la entrevista¬†realizada¬†( a mi persona)¬†la periodista Michelle Oquendo S√°nchez, en el programa “Desde mi Visi√≥n” que se transmite en Radio Visi√≥n. Lunes a viernes de 15h00 a 17h00. Quito 91.7 Guayaquil 107.7 www.michelleoquendo.com¬†

Para los que no pudieron escucharla aqui les dejo el audio :

http://michelleoquendo.com/podcast.php

Nota: Prohibida la reproducción total o parcial de este espacio sin la autorización de su productora. Las opiniones vertidas en este programa son de entera responsabilidad de quien las pronuncia.

Desde ya muchas gracias por escuchar y sobretodo por estar tan pendientes de cada paso.

El apoyo y amor que recibimos constantemente , no solo nos llena de paz y tranquilidad si no que también le da un dulce tono a esta hermosa aventura que es un placer compartir con ustedes.

Gracias , mil veces Gracias.

English Version:

Hi Everyone!

Thank you very much for all the comments and e-mails that I have received,  honestly is great to know that my little angel and I count on such beautiful people as you.

Yesterday was published and interview that Michelle Oquendo Sánchez did on me ( http://michelleoquendo.com/index.php) at the studios of Radio Vision in Quito-Ecuador for her program Desde mi Visión.

For those of you that were not able to listen the interview here is the link to the audio file:

http://michelleoquendo.com/podcast.php

Note: Translation to english will be available this weekend.

In advance , thank you very much for listening and for always keeping up with us every step of the way.

the sup`port and love that we constantly receive , it not only fulfills us with peace and joy , but also gives a beautiful tone to this sweet journey.

Thank you , a thousand times Thank you.

Tell it like it is…

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Hi everyone!

Sorry I havent been posting but as you know the Holidays are always time for the family and friends.

So , today at 3 pm ( Ecuador time) is airing and interview that was done about me and this blog by Michelle Oquendo Sanchez (http://michelleoquendo.com/michelle_oquendo.php)

I hope you can all listen to it at : http://michelleoquendo.com/index.php.

The interview is in spanish but i will translate it to english over the weekend .

Hope to hear your comments soon.

A little update…. my little baby is 23 weeks old so far!!!! I am so exited , everything is going as planned, what a blessing.

Thanx for keeping up!

xoxo

A 1.33 cm Miracle!!

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Hi everyone!!!

Here is a pick of the little angel…. growing fast:

We are 7 weeks and 4 days far… time is flying!!!

I can’t wait for week 12 to arrive . I was reading some information about miscarriages ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Miscarriage¬†) and according to doctors when week 12 arrives , the risk of miscarriage decreases significantly.

Every night when i go to bed I think and wish that the little angel holds on tight.

Every week I get in touch with the people at the clinic because I want to know how my surrogate is doing , how is the pregnancy affecting her and how is the general situation. thankfully Neha is always available to give me updates and thankfully everything is going on just fine.

I was talking to a very interesting woman yesterday ( http://michelleoquendo.com/ ) and we were talking about surrogacy and parenting. She made me realize something that I havent talked about and that is the fact that on this journey there are 3 souls involved: the little angel , my surrogate and me.

Everybody knows how I feel because I try my best to let you know with all the info that I provide with this blog . The little angel for sure is happy floating in and endless , warm , comfy and dark pool of liquid. The last one is my surrogate, how is his affecting her? How is she feeling about having to give the child that she is carrying in a few months?

I was researching a bit and there are no registered studies performed in order to study what is the impact that gestational surrogacy has on the surrogate mothers. Probably a big issue around this topic is the fact that surrogacy is not unplanned , by this I mean that when someone decides to have a child trough surrogacy , he/she has to plan everything in order to guarantee that the conception and pregnancy is achieved.

When one chooses a surrogate mother ( I had the great help and advice of Dr. Shivani) , one has to understand that this wonderful women that choose to carry a baby for nine months , have already thought about all the sensitive and delicate points that surrogacy involves. There is a mechanical way of looking at it and that is that this women are prepared to have a successful pregnancy in order to deliver a healthy baby for his/hers parents.

There are lots of interviews that have been done to surrogate mothers in order to discover how do they manage to not get attached to the growing baby, but every human being feels in a different way  . One thing is clear and that is that surrogacy for sure is a very extenuating process for the surrogate mother, not only physically but emotionally.

As for me ( and my little angel), the only thing I am sure off is that the clinic takes great care of their surrogate mothers and they try to make this process easier on them.

Michelle asked me if I have an emotional bond with my surrogate , my answer was that I believe I have a very special bond with her not only because I feel extremely grateful , but also because she is and always will be the woman who will make it possible for me to actually hold my baby in my arms.

This journey is a triangle that needs its 3 points to stay together, at least this is how I see it.

Thank you very much for reading , have a wonderful day and I will like to take the opportunity to propose a discussion forum on this issue… what do you think about it?

Looking forward to your comments.